So you’re thinking about marriage counselling but not sure what to expect
Before we start, a question that is often asked is : “What’s the difference between marriage counselling and couples therapy ?” The answer is very little. Basically they are interchangeable, like therapist and counsellor, what’s more important is that you use what’s comfortable for you.
Assessment.
- Session #1: Intake Interview – 50 minutes (if needed a second session may be required)
- Session #2: Individual Interviews – 50 minutes each
- Session #3: Feedback & Planning – 50 minutes
During the assessment phase we spend some time together, both partners as a couple and as individuals, where we will talk about your relationships history, concerns, goals for marriage counselling, how things are at the moment and there will be some questionnaires to fill out to help us better understand where your relationship is at.
At the end of this phase we spend a little time sharing some of the findings and discuss how we will proceed so that you have an idea of what to expect.
Therapy.
During this time most (if not all) sessions will be with both of you (as a couple) working through different issues with things to take away with you to practice at home.
Our aim with couples therapy is to help you build the skills so that you can take them home and use them when needed, not just in the counselling room. To put it another way, we help you to learn to relate differently.
The length of time this phase will take varies between clients because of their individual and specific circumstances. If at any time you have any questions, whether they are about the length of time, the approach to therapy or even concerns you may have, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Additionally, if you would like, the option to have longer sessions is available (with notice).
It’s really important to remember that it’s not about spending a pile of time rehashing old arguments or laying blame at someones feet but about using experiences you have had in your relationship to develop new skills, better ways to discuss things.
Phase Out.
This is when we start to meet less often, our suggestion is to have four follow-up sessions at 6 months, 12 months, 18 months and 2 years. Research has shown that these sessions help to significantly reduce the chances of relapsing into previous, unhelpful patterns.
Of course, you can terminate therapy at any time however it is beneficial to have one session to summarise your progress and clarify anything that still needs to be done.
See Gottman Method Couples Therapy or The Gottman Institute for more information.